AHSOWHAT - JUNE 2003

One can only wish...

Presidential Address. My fellow Americans:

As you all know, the defeat of Iraq's regime has been completed. The elimination of all of insane Hussain’s weapons of mass destruction has been accomplished. A new Iraqi government has been established and appears to be stable. Our mission in Iraq is complete. This morning I gave the order for complete removal of all coalition forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of the countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. Included are the United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland to name the major participants. The other list contains everyone else. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies later this evening. Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption. Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

Together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. I am ordering the immediate withdrawal of all US forces from Kuwait, Saudi Arabia, and all other Middle Eastern nations, save Israel. Leave us alone. Solve your own problems. Need help? Call Germany.

On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.

Regarding the nation of Israel, I have this to say. Our nation will never permit the destruction of Israel. Israel is the Israeli’s. Muslims and Arafat’s Palestinian Authority need to get out immediately and go to neighboring countries where they think alike and will be more than welcome.

I'm ordering the immediate dissolution of the insipid, counterproductive UN. I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to reclaim the UN building and land we donated and turn it into a temporary, supervised highrise for the homeless until they can get on their feet.

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are going to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try cooperating with us for a change. Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government need to start taking care of their own. Because I have a couple of extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around, I’m putting them on border security.

Beginning immediately, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty. It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them be saying darn tootin'. Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger, homelessness and joblessness in America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you. To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Get a life. God bless America. Thank you and good night.

Contributed by Don Colbath, Auburn Michigan & others.

BIRTHDAYS

' Betty Colbath – Hamilton, Dexter, Maine

' Lonie Colbeth - Holm, St. Paul, Minnesota

' Ron Colbath – McComb, Dewey, Arizona

' Joyce Coolberth – Mullin, Topeka, Kansas

' Sandi Colbeth (Dick C’s Chick) Vancouver, Wa

ANNIVERSARIES

Scott & Patti Colbath, Scottsdale, Arizona, 17 years

Teresa Colbath – Mitchell & Steve, Fairview, Utah 27 years

O PERSONAL PROFILE O

Sean Colbath-McCormick,

Dexter, Maine

Hi, Dick, my grandson used to be in the Special Olympics when he was younger. He was in the running events and some of the throwing ones. He had a very good arm. He got several medals when he was in it. He doesn't go anymore. The others were getting a lot bigger than he was. He goes to all the basketball games with his parents, Susan & Mike. He seems to enjoy them. He is everyone's friend; at the games he visits with everyone.

Sean likes to help his Dad take care of the wood they have delivered for their wood furnace. He likes to do work outside a lot. He has a tree house partially built in the back yard. He likes to use the hammer to pound nails in.

He had his first hunting license this year. He got a doe permit & shot his first deer. He was very happy about that. He goes with his Dad & his Grampa. They have always taken him with them before he got his license but he couldn't have a gun. My daughter & I didn't care too much about him carrying a gun.

Sean is a sophomore. He has to have special help but he is doing good in school. He does have a problem with his speech but gets help with that. Outside of school he has someone spend time with him two afternoons a week. They do different things like bowling or throwing basketballs. They are called One on One workers who work with children with special needs.

Sean has a very loving family & extended family, too. He has two sisters, Courtney, who is a senior in HS in Dexter. She is going to College in the fall. and Deirdre who is a Junior at Thomas College in Waterville, Maine. He is all boy and a busy one. He likes to watch wrestling on TV. He also likes to spend time on the computer. He was 16 the 15th of this month (April). He is a special gift for all of us in he extended family, too. It helps us all know about what it is like to have special need children in the family. I have found that out with all my grandchildren. Love, your cousin, Betty Colbath-Hamilton, Dexter, Maine

Hi Dick, I know that you have heard the story about the proverbial check that is always in the mail? Well, as of the first of May it will be in the mail, I just need you to send me the address, so I can put it in the mail. I miss your Ahsowhat newsletter, sometimes it is the only way I can keep up with my sister and her travel plans. I know, I know, I could always drop her a e-mail, or try to remember that she is usually on line at 9:00 a.m., however I am usually leaving the house or have left for work. Yep, the last sounds better, I think that I will stick with that one until I come up with a better excuse. Love to all Linda Colbeth-Walker, Quail Valley, California.

Dear Dick, There is a political firestorm raging around our Senator, Rick Santorum, as the screaming minority excoriate him for his comment equating homosexuality with bigamy, polygamy, incest and adultery.

Just what exactly is it that homosexuals do that they would like to convince “homophobic” Americans that our children should embrace it as “an acceptable alternative life style?” Discover for yourself what “Fisting”, Golden Showers”, and “Mudding” are as part of their behavior.

Well, sir, and I hope you have the dingleberrys to print this, I would like to be the first one to say that sodomy is not a civil right. Further, homosexuality is abominable aberrant behavior. It once was, and still should be a crime; it’s degenerate, degrading, disgusting, evil, filthy, gross, immoral and loathsome. It once was classified as a mental illness, and still should be. It’s nasty, outrageous, perverted, queer, stinking, un-American, ungodly, unhealthy, unnatural and there’s nothing “gay” about it. But homosexuals are wonderful people. J Colbeth, Phila., PA

‘Superbug’ warning A drug-resistant “superbug” that has swept through hospitals for years has now been observed infecting healthy people (oh, joy). MRSA – methicillin-resistant staphylococcus aureus – normally enters the wounds of patients weakened by disease or injury, often in hospitals. But a new strain (yippee) that can be transmitted by skin contact and poses a risk to healthy people has emerged. Infections first occurred in the United States where thousands of people have been infected. (First I heard of that one). It is said to be “spreading like wildfire” in crowded prisons, but there also have been small outbreaks among athletes and children in communities across the country (I didn’t know that). Infections usually appear as sores that resemble insect bites. If not treated properly, abscesses and boils can develop, requiring repeated use of antibiotics and even surgery.

Humvee (Hummer) Something else you may not know: the Humvee is a military vehicle, so how did it get to be made for and sold to civilians? Turns out when Arnold Schwartznegger was in Portland, Oregon making the movie Kindergarten Cop, he saw a Humvee being driven around by a National Guard troop and wanted one. Military refused to sell him one so he flew to St. Louis where the Hummers are manufactured and the rest is history. Arnold is a piece of work. He was driven to lift weights. In his hometown the only body building joint didn’t open up early enough for him so he smashed a window in the dead of winter, broke in and worked out. Often they found him pumping iron with his hands frozen to the bar…! When he was in the Austrian Army, the local citizens were holding a body builders competition. He couldn’t get time off to compete so he went AWOL, won the thing and wound up in the brig like he knew he would but he went anyway. Dang.

Dear Friends, Acquaintances, Relatives, Associates, Spammers and Hackers: I am moving today. I will be offline until I get a new ISP. If that happens to be the cable company, I might not be back until Labor Day! Please save all your love letters, family news and funny jokes until I'm back. I will still have same mailing address for time being. I will let all know my new addresses and phone numbers. Until I am back on line--- May God bless you and keep you and make His face shine upon you.. Always, Bill (a.k.a. William Craig Colbert formerly of Biddeford, Maine.

"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in
America are named 'Bush', 'Dick' (hey!), and 'Colon'"

The Contractor’s Hymn ……………………… The Church’s One Foundation Ernie Coolbeth, Lyndonville, Vermont

? AHSOWHAT JUNE 2003 PAGE TWO

After hearing that the state of Florida changed its opinion and let a Muslim woman have her picture on her driver's license with her face covered: This is an editorial written by an American citizen, published in a Tampa newspaper:

Immigrants, Not Americans, Must Adapt. I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Sept. 11, we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Americans. However, the dust from the attacks had barely settled when the "politically correct" crowd began complaining about the possibility that our patriotism was offending others. I am not against immigration, nor do I hold a grudge against anyone who is seeking a better life by coming to America. Our population is almost entirely made up of descendants of immigrants. However, there are a few things that those who have recently come to our country, and apparently some born here, need to understand.

This idea of America being a multicultural community has served only to dilute our sovereignty and our national identity. As Americans, we have our own culture, our own society, our own language and our own lifestyle. This culture has been developed over centuries of struggles, trials, and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom. We speak ENGLISH, not Spanish, Portuguese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. It is not a “Second Language” (ESL). Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society, learn the language!

"In God We Trust" is our national motto. This is not some Christian, right wing, political slogan. We adopted this motto because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture. If Stars and Stripes offend you, or you don't like Uncle Sam, then you should seriously consider a move to another part of this planet.

We are happy with our culture and have no desire to change, and we really don't care how you did things where you came from. This is OUR COUNTRY, our land, and our lifestyle. Our First Amendment gives every citizen the right to express his/her opinion and we will allow you every opportunity to do so. But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about our flag, our pledge, our national motto, or our way of life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great American freedom, THE RIGHT TO LEAVE.
Mary Elena Coolbroth-Howard, Rockland, Maine. MaCool- at -aol.com

At first I thought I was going around in circles. Then I realized it’s actually a downward spiral.

Hi Cous, I have all ready sent some money. Your first reminder, reminded me to send it. We are leaving tomorrow to visit my daughter in Oregon. We will be gone for six days. Our granddaughter Jaycie is going to have a violin recital. So we will be there for that. I don't know about you but it sure is snowy & rainy here. Will be glad when it stops so I can get out and plant my garden. Will type at you when we get back. Bev Colbeth - Luce, Platina, CA wldwdlady- at -yahoo.com

I was going to buy a copy of “The Power of Positive Thinking,” and then I thought, “What good would that do?”

Muslim Fundamentalism Solved: Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim terrorists are so quick to commit suicide. Let's see now. No beer. No booze. No bars. No television. No cheerleaders. No baseball, football, basketball, hockey, golf or bowling. No tailgate parties. No Hooters. No pork BBQ. No hot-dogs. No burgers. No lobster, shellfish, or even frozen fish sticks. Rags for clothes, towels for hats. No doctors. No church. 24 hour wailing from a guy in a tower. No chocolate chip cookies. No Christmas. You can't shave; your wife can't shave. You can't shower to wash off the smell of donkey cooked over burning camel dung. The women have to wear baggy dresses and veils at all times. Your bride is picked by someone else. She smells just like your donkey, but your donkey has a better disposition. Then they tell you it all gets better when you die. (I was going to look up my nearest Imam and sign up until they got to the no chocolate chip cookies part. I’ll bet there’s no coffee or cigars either. The religious police are the scary part. They’ll cut a pretty girl’s lips off on the spot if she’s spotted wearing lipstick.)

You know you’re getting ‘Marvelously Mature’ when You and your teeth don’t sleep together. Ruth Coolbeth Jones, Hillsboro, New Hampshire…………………………………….

ALL MEN ARE ANIMALS IT’S JUST THAT SOME

MAKE BETTER PETS THAN OTHERS

Robin Coolbeth, Springfield, Mass. Was right: Big, Fat, Greek Wedding was a scream! Incidentally, did you know that “Ahsowhat” translated in Greek means, “Spray newsletter with Windex before reading?”

Believe in the Ether Bunny? The hiker who was trapped with the 800 pound boulder on his arm – remember that one? Before he could saw through his skin, tendons and muscle with that dull give away Leatherman tool-type knife, first he had to break the two bones in his arm. He leaned on it until the Radius snapped. Then he leaned harder and the big Ulna cracked. He leaned

Three Gorges project sticks to schedule amid SARS crisis………………………………………………
The current health crisis in China will have no impact on plans to fill the Three Gorges reservoir next month, state media reports. The sluice gates at the world’s biggest dam are to be closed as scheduled on June 1, the official Xinhua news agency has announced. Water will rise behind the dam for the following 15 days until the 135-metre level is reached, the May 3 report said.

The senior official in charge of monitoring Three Gorges project quality control has also revealed that she is "really concerned" about the design of the turbines. Qian Zhengying, a former minister of water resources and electric power who heads the dam's quality-control inspection group, said the turbines were not ideally suited to the conditions in which they will be operated, but it was too late to do anything about it. Ms. Qian said the reservoir water level will be kept lower than was anticipated when the equipment was ordered years ago, and that it remains to be seen how the turbines will operate "under these changed circumstances."

I used to watch golf on TV but my doctor told me that I need more exercise, so now I watch tennis.

Minnesota Historical Society (MHS) Death Certificate Index: search results for Colbeth, Colbath, and Coolbroth.. The index covers the years 1908 - 1996. Web site for the MHS is www.mhs.org

John Hunkins, JCHSR- at -QWEST.NET (for Jane Colbeth- Hunkins)

Minnesota Historical Society (MHS) Death Certificate Index: search results for Colbeth, Colbath, and Coolbroth.. The index covers the years 1908 - 1996. Web site for the MHS is www.mhs.org

COLBATH, CHESTER CertID# 1910-MN-019716 Date of Birth: not indexed Place of Birth: not indexed Mother Maiden Name: not indexed Date of Death: 10/31/1910 County of Death: HENNEPIN

COLBATH, GEORGE CertID# 1921-MN-019748 Date of Birth: not indexed Place of Birth: not indexed Mother Maiden Name: not indexed Date of Death: 10/05/1921 County of Death: HENNEPIN

COLBATH, GEORGE CertID# 1916-MN-020886 Date of Birth: not indexed Place of Birth: not indexed Mother Maiden Name: not indexed Date of Death:

10/13/1916 County of Death: HENNEPIN

to be continued ……………………………………………….

Camping is nature’s way of promoting the motel business.

I grew up in the fifties with practical parents -- a Mother, God love her, who washed aluminum foil after she cooked in it, then reused it. She was the original recycle queen, before they had a name for it...Toots Colbath-David, Minot, Maine

When I die, I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, not terrified and screaming like all the passengers in his car.

Articles 001471 & 00337 {Orchid} Introducing Ed Colbeth. www.ganoksin.com/orchid/archive/9804/msg00337.htm

Sometimes the giant hamster of misfortune doesn’t want to run on anybody’s wheel but yours.

The Peter Colbeth Family of Machiasport ME

1 PETER COLBETH [# 2565] s/o? was born at ? abt 1752; died at ? bet 1832-1840; married at ? bef 1772 Hannah 5 Libby, d/o Josiah Libby and Mary Stone; Peter took up land at Bucks Harbor ME (now Machiasport) about 1772 and signed a petition in 1784 requesting a grant of the land [BHM pg 484]. During the Revolutionary War, Peter was mustered at Machias 24 Jul 1777 in Col McCobb's Regt [BHM pg 1327]. He was a Revolutionary War pensioner under act of 7 Jun 1832 (age 83, Machias) [BHM 1268].

Several children are assumed based on early census records. However, Hannah's age relative to the later children suggests problems with these assumptions.

Children by Hannah Libby

2 i. JOEL W , born at Machiasport ME 8 Mar 1772

ii. MARY , born at ? 24 May 1776, died at ? bet 1840-1850, married at Machias ME 25 Jun 1797 Cornelius Cole [MachMR]

iii. NABBY , born at Bucks Harbor ME 7 Feb 1779, died at ? bef 1820, married at Machias ME 14 Oct 1801 David Cole

iv. SON , born at ? , died at ?

v. SON , born at ? , died at ?

vi. DAUGHTER , born at ? , died at ?

3 vii. JOHN , born at ? abt 1789

viii. HANNAH , born at ? abt 1794, died at ? aft 1850, married at Machias ME 2 Feb 1815 Benjamin Clark [MachMR]

ix. SON , born at ? bet 1795-1800, died at ? aft 1810

2 JOEL W COLBETH [# 18499] s/o PETER COLBETH and HANNAH 5 LIBBY was born at Machiasport ME 8 Mar 1772; died at ? aft 1830; married at ? 20 Nov 1804 Susanna 6 Cole, d/o Ebenezer Cole and Elizabeth Wheeler Hall;

Children by Susanna Cole

4 i. GEORGE , born at Machiasport ME 19 Sep 1805

ii. ABIGAIL , born at Machiasport ME Nov 1806, died at Harrington ME 4 Apr 1903 [HarrDR], married (1) at Machias ME 21 Sep 1825 Otis Smith Cole [MachMR], married (2) at ? abt 1870 Thomas Ruggles "Royal" Mitchell

iii. MIRIAM P , born at Machiasport ME 28 Jan 1808, died at Harrington ME 12 Mar 1892 [gs, Burgess Cemetery, Harrington ME], married at ? [marriage int filed at Harrington ME 22 Dec 1827] John Merriman Cole

iv. SARAH , born at Machiasport ME 2 Dec 1809 [calc], died at Machiasport ME 12 Dec 1902 [gs, Bucks Harbor Cemetery, Machiasport ME], married at ? bef 1832 Joseph Wallace Cole

v. ELIZABETH ANN , born at Harrington ME Mar 1813, died at Harrington ME 6 Jun 1901 [HarrDR], married at Machias ME 24 Jul 1836 James Bailey Mitchell [MachMR]

5 vi. JAMES , born at Machiasport ME 15 Mar 1814

vii. JOEL , born at Machiasport ME abt 1816, died at ? aft 1830

6 viii. PETER , born at Machiasport ME 3 Oct 1818

ix. HANNAH , born at Machiasport ME 28 Apr 1821, died at ? aft 1880, married at ? 31 May 1838 [marriage int filed at Harrington ME 1 May 1838] Benjamin Mitchell

7 x. REUBEN , born at Machiasport ME 3 Feb 1823

to be continued………………………………………………………

Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he’ll be too busy fishing to realize you’re fooling around with his wife.

AHSOWHAT PAGE 4 JUNE 2003

Jesus Loves Me, This I Know,

Jesus loves me, this I know,

Though my hair is white as snow.

Though my sight is growing dim,

Still He bids me trust in Him.

YES, JESUS LOVES ME... YES, JESUS LOVES ME...

YES. JESUS LOVES ME FOR THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO.

Though my steps are oh, so slow,

With my hand in his I'll go.

On through life, let come what may,

He'll be there to lead the way.

(CHORUS)

Though I am no longer young,

I have much which He's begun.

Let me serve Christ with a smile,

Go with others the extra mile.

(CHORUS)

When the nights are dark and long,

In my heart He puts a song.

Telling me in words so clear,

"Have no fear, for I am near."

(CHORUS)

When my work on earth is done,

And life's victories have been won.

He will take me home above,

Then I'll understand His love

(CHORUS)

I love Jesus, does He know?

Have I ever told Him so?

Jesus loves to hear me say,

That I love Him every day.

Words to live by; I regret that I’ve lost

the name of the saint who sent it to me.

The workers at the Federal Mint went on strike today. They are demanding to make less money.

BreakPoint with Charles Colson #030408 - 04/08/2003

A New Generation Gap: Abortion and Our Children

As part of her coursework in Persuasive Speech, Afton Dahl had to make a presentation about a controversial issue. Dahl, a sixteen-year-old sophomore at Red Wing High School in Minnesota, chose abortion.

"I think it would be better," she told her classmates, "to overturn ROE V. WADE." Dahl was not just repeating what she may have heard in a pro-life home. In fact, her remarks came as a shock to her pro-choice mother. But they are a hopeful sign that pro-life arguments have not fallen on deaf ears. Dahl was not the only person in her class to make a pro-life presentation. As Dahl's teacher, Jillynne Raymond, told the NEW YORK TIMES, the "majority" of her students are pro-life.

This comes as a real surprise in Red Wing, which voted for Al Gore in 2000. One resident described herself as "shocked" at the pro-life sentiment among the town's kids and asked, "Where do these kids come from?"

The answer: They are just kids from Red Wing whose attitudes are consistent with national trends. Among young Americans, support for the pro-choice position has been dropping for the past decade. In 1993, 48 percent of eighteen- to twenty-nine-year-olds polled by the NEW YORK TIMES agreed that "abortion should be generally available to those who want it." Today, that number is down to 39 percent. A social scientist observed that young people today no longer see abortion as a "rights" issue, but as a "moral, ethical issue." That's good news.

And not surprisingly, abortion-rights advocates are trying to explain away these findings. Some argue that young women, never having "faced a situation where they couldn't get an abortion," take the right to abortion for granted. But they're not taking it for granted. They're explicitly rejecting that so-called "right."

An even more desperate pro-abortion explanation is that the shift is due to sex-Ed programs stressing abstinence that "demonize abortion." In this conspiratorial account, children are being indoctrinated behind their busy parents' backs. As one pro-choice parent told the TIMES, "An anti-choice critter [jumped] out of my son's backpack and [ran] around my house." Really?

I suppose thinking that he has been brainwashed is easier than admitting that he thinks that you are wrong. But that is what is happening. When Dahl told her classmates that "the baby's heartbeat starts at around twelve to eighteen days," she demonstrated that our arguments have taken hold. Likewise, when her classmate said that the abortion issue is "more about the baby's rights than the woman's rights," we can see that our efforts to shift the terms of the debate have borne fruit.

What's happening in Red Wing and across the country is a reminder to the pro-life side that being in this battle for the long haul pays off. Just because one generation of women regards ROE as sacrosanct does not mean that we cannot reach their surviving children with rational, moral arguments.

What's happening in Red Wing should inspire pro-lifers to take advantage of groups like Stand to Reason (www.str.org), an excellent apologetics ministry specifically equipping kids to understand and defend pro-life arguments -- arguments that are creating a new generation gap, one in which being young means choosing life.

Thanks Mr. Colson. I picket an abortion clinic every month and almost every time a pro-abort starts an argument with me, he or she prefaces his remarks with something about my Christianity. There I am, standing in the rain usually, shivering in two coats, boots, two pairs of socks, Gortex gloves and hat pulled down around my ears…What makes them think I’m a Christian? Maybe I’m a flaming atheist/agnostic who just objects to having kid’s heads torn off before they get a chance to use them; tear them off when they’re teenagers, I say. At least give them a choice.

Row vs Wade: the Great Western Fishing Controversy

(cartoon – rubber rafting fisherman shaking his fist at a wading fisherman pointing back)

AHSOWHAT PAGE 5 JUNE 2003

VOLUME 8 ISSUE 10 DICK COLBETH, EDITOR & PUBLISHER June 2003

Editor: 360-892-6944 E-mail: CoolsCols- at -aol.com http://www..colbeth.com/ahsowhat/ahsowhat.htm Circulation: 150 Cools/Cols $10.00/yr or a box of Krispy Kremes Editor’s a fisherman and lives in Vancouver, WA. with the best catch of his life, Sandy: Dick C’s Chick.